Fuck this shit.

Okay, this is going to be the first post with some lovely cups of angst, so beware.

Today (or more like yesterday, as it’s about 1:39 in the morning) was such a beautiful summer day, the sun was shining, the sky was clear and the birds were singing, but what do I do?

I SPEND THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY INDOORS!

Like, what the hell is wrong with me? I have friends and I like being outside (when the weather is nice) but still, I spend my time to something as useless as playing some stupid flashgames and hanging on facebook, while I could be outside with my friends, having a good time and enjoying the warmth. Fuck this, I’ll go to sleep and see if my bad mood is due to me being sleepy.

Stupid poem.

It was such a sunny day

Nothing could’ve taken it away

But after I saw it’s perfection

I saw the deception

My dreams were shattered

My thoughts got scattered

As I tried to believe

That my pain would relieve

Today I decided to write about religion, even though (or because) I am no religious man.

I have often though that what makes people believe in something that just can’t be proven. And yes, god (notice the lowercase g) not existing can’t be proven neither, but most people don’t believe in the Loch Ness monster, even though it not existing can’t be proven.

I have also often thought that if I would all of a sudden start believing in some sort of entity creating this world, would my life change after that enlightenment? Would I start judging people just because they do something that the religion (I chose to follow) says that what they do is wrong?

Would I give my cape to the one who took my belongings (or what does the bible say that Jesus of Nazareth said?) Would I stop eating pork as the Muslims and the Jewish people do? Would I start using cannabis as the Rastafarians? The religion truly is an weird thing, as it has started wars, made peace and helped many people survive the most depressing times in their lives. But probably the weirdest thing in religion is, that many people don’t believe in god (or God) or any other “good” entity, but they believe that there is an “evil” entity, such as the devil. (I must admit that I am myself one of these people) What makes these people believe in the “great evil”, but not in the “all forgiving good”? Again, that is something I can’t answer, even though that is a part of the way I see the world and life.

(By the way, I just noticed that I make many questions in my texts, but I only give very few answers, I wonder why I do that.)

I’ve had some discussions about religion with my friends, and here’s one of them (translated from English to Finnish. Also note that he is an Lutheran)

Me: “Do you believe in God. God of the Christians?”

TN: “Yes”

Me: “What does religion mean to you? Does it somehow affect how you do things in your life?”

TN: “Well, I am a bit “over” believer. Most teenagers that are the same age I am don’t give a shit about things that have something to do with church, like confirmation camps (is that the correct word?) and such. I am like a “saint” when dealing with church and I don’t like it when people mock church, God and other things. I mean that of course I sometimes laugh at some jokes about religion, but still, I try to be serious with religion”

Me: “how do you think religion has affected your life?”

TN: “Church doesn't actually affect my life very much, but it's still a huge thing in my life and something that is hard to let go o”

All this has been published with the permission of TN.

Beginning the (b)log of captain K of the cybervessel P-355-IM-157

So, because of my facebook friends, I started blogging.

Before I start rambling about my pessimism against all kinds of things, I should probably (I have no idea that is it spelled like that...) tell you some things about myself.

I am a male and I live in Finland, the land of probably the most depressing autumns and springs in the entire world, but where the summers and winters are surprisingly beautiful, but only when they are what they are supposed to be like.

My friend (I don’t know if she considers me as her friend) often calls me with names, like “you fucking pessimist” and “god damned pessimist”, even though I am mostly more happy than she is. But now when I think of that previous statement, I can’t tell you if it’s true, as I consider myself rather happy person, but I don’t know how happy she considers herself, as I can’t analyze her happiness just by taking a quick glance at her, as that (happiness) is something one can’t really describe easily, I am not even sure if it is possible with the terms the mankind knows, so I’ll just leave it there, as I am not the one to tell anyone that what is happiness, as my heaven might be hell for somebody and vice versa.

Okay, this first post was a bit different from what I thought of, even as I didn't make any plans that what would i write. Let's see what this (b)log of the captain K of the cybervessel P-355-IM-157 has to offer for you gise.